I had no idea how much pressure there was to be a supermum until I had my daughter. As a single mum I was expected to be the breadwinner, a professional, a present mother, a sociable friend, a great cook, fit and healthy and to be sane! Actually now I can be (haha… can be) all of those things but my daughter is 7 she can go to the bathroom on her own, get dressed on her own, play autonomously and function without my needing to be involved in everything she does, but wow that was not always the case, when she was little I beat myself up consistently for not being perfect, for not smiling and rocking the supermum status we all believe we have to attain.I wish I had been given a copy of The Supermum Myth before I became a mother, so I am very happy to be interviewing the co-author Anya Hayes, who is a fountain of great advice.
Hi Anya, welcome to No Mum Is An Island. I am a great believer that no mum (or dad) should have to do everything herself, we can’t possibly know it all, and we need all the support we can get, there is a wealth of information out there to help us upgrade our parenting experience, to make our lives easier and this website is a hub for just that! We love that you have upgraded your life by debunking the Supermum Myth and sharing that and inspiring many others.
Can you tell us a bit about how you came to writing The Supermum Myth?
Is there a quick fix for the parenting guilt?
It is so easy to get frustrated with our kids, you are an advocate for being a mindful mum and in the book give some great advice to help with our attitude to children dawdling can you share that here?
Reframing is a powerful Cognitive Behavioural Therapy tool – where have you found this to be the most effective when applied to mums?
A real challenge many ‘want to be Supermum’s’ come up against is clashing over parenting styles with partners who very often become “the fun dad” how can we handle these scenarios without damaging our relationships?
Your description of mothers “being lonely but never alone” is so perfect. What can mums do to reconnect to themselves, the person they were before children and how can we nurture friendships?
It is not only our identity we feel we lose when we have children it is our bodies too! How can we recover our postnatal body?
For more parenting inspiration see below: