Hi, my name Jade Tara Gooding (Prev. Gandey) I am a certified in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a Mindfulness advocate, Positive Discipline parent educator, Public Speaker, Conscious Parenting champion and the founder of parenting personal development hub No Mum Is An Island, which inspires parents to upgrade all areas of their and their children’s lives.
I lead popular days of outdoor learning which I have hosted in Ibiza, where I lived for almost 10 years, Bali and in the UK. The core belief of this platform is that becoming a parent is the ultimate opportunity to upgrade ourselves, mind, body and soul. In turn, our parenting experience will be more rewarding on every level.
Self-care, mindfulness, growth mindset, meditation, positive discipline, philosophy, psychology, flow, gratitude, proper praise, yoga, nurturing our souls, exercise and nutrition are all championed in my whole parent approach.
The foundation of my understanding is that modelling behaviour is the most powerful way we can lead our children. By living the best possible version of ourselves we are showing our children they can do the same too. Empowering them to dramatically reduce childhood depression, anxiety and the need for external reward.
My husband, daughter and I moved to Devon in September 2019 and now happily live in the UK, visiting Ibiza and Bali each year.
How I Got Here
As mothers we are realising it is hard, really hard to parent in modern society – “It takes a village to raise a child” the proverb says. I saw this in my brief time living in Bali. What this really means, where mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandparents and neighbours raise a child, in the case I was closest to, the mother died when the child was just 6 and soon after the father became deaf and blind, the family, the community were raising the child.
Yet here we are as mothers in the western world often working full time, trying to be there for our partner, often unsupported by family, little time for self-care and trying to do it all. I experienced this in full force whilst living in Ibiza as a self-supporting single mum. I was holding it all together but only just.
My relationship with my small daughter was challenging, I had work guilt, I never missed a play or a school event but I knew she needed me and I was not able to be fully present as I needed to support us (sitting at my laptop saying “just a second honey”). It was getting too much, my daughter was pushing every boundary and as many parenting books, as I read, I realised the change was not just needed in her behaviour but from mine, to make both our lives better for the long term.
Going on a personal journey of self-mastery ( taking control of our internal thought process, our emotions, habits, and behaviours. To respond rather than react. To take control, to see things for what they really are – often very crappy shaped beautiful gifts ) releases parenting fears, changes perspectives and gives us a powerful toolset that will allow both us and our children to handle whatever comes our way.
As a teen I myself was lost and unhappy, my hippy free-spirited parents argued a lot, I had learning difficulties and was overwhelmed. I tried to kill myself at 17 (See the INSPIRATIONAL CHILDRENS ART COLLECTION created from that expereince here). I swore that I would never let my future children have that experience, I would create a perfect childhood for my own children. Then at 32 years I got old divorced after a 10 year relationship with a great man but our paths were going in different directions. 18 months later I found myself 6 weeks pregnant with a boyfriend I had been with for only 8 weeks and I was inevitably was a single mum by the time my daughter was one year old.
How the hell has this happened I remember thinking, I was a businesswoman, earning great money, with my head on my shoulders who liked to party occasionally but I was by no means irresponsible and I was suddenly in a mess.
This was a very difficult time for me, I went from living a luxury life to being on the breadline trying to support my toddler alone. Quickly I realised that no matter what our best plans are for our children. Life can come at us at all directions and we can’t always protect our children from our own situations, be it problems with our partners, work issues, family problems, illness, drink, drugs, social challenges and whatever stuff life throws at us and the people around us.
It is how we handle these situations that teach our children how to handle life, our internal voice becomes their internal voice, our behaviour becomes their behaviour. The best way we can support our children is to first to support ourselves. If you study proven researched techniques that support kids through depression, anxiety, insecurities and comparisons you will see that we need to be learning this stuff for ourselves and then living it so our kids have a chance of being well rounded human beings in an increasingly f*cked up society.
No Mum Is An Island, has been born with the understanding we do not need to do it alone, that there are incredible toolsets out there that we can use to upgrade our lives and in turn our children’s too.
I now live with my daughter and my incredible new husband in Devon, I am consistently working to upgrade myself mind, body soul, mama it’s always a work in progress as new challenges appear my current challenge is a brain injury and a brain cyst – sh*t shaped gifts to help me grow.
Love & Light,
Jade Tara Gooding